Right, it’s too cold for me. This is just the weather for curling up on the sofa, having forty winks and waiting until Spring. And that was exactly what I was doing until I was rudely awoken by the sight of some soldiers walking past wielding swords. As you can imagine, that sight made me leap off the sofa (not something that happens very often) and go investigating. Not only were there lots of brave looking soldiers (Mrs Brandreth later told me that these soldiers were called knights) but also some very beautiful princesses. I couldn’t work it out – when I went to sleep I lived at a school in 2011 but when I woke I appeared to be in a castle in 1276! Of course, what it really was, was the Year 1 children having their Knights and Princesses Day! And how realistic they looked too! Let me know next time and I’ll wear my helmet and shield too!

I also had to brace the icy wind to attend the hockey trials on Wednesday. Mr Holness insisted that I take part but, as I kept on trying to tell him, I can’t hold the stick. I’m a cat! So instead, I just chased the ball which is excellent practice for chasing those House mascots later on. Hee hee.

Finally, Mrs Lee came to see to tell me about Fruit of the Fortnight and how I should be eating a banana every day. Honestly, these teachers. I’m a CAT! When was the last time you saw a cat eating a banana? How would I peel it? Anyway, after explaining this to her, we came up with a compromise. I will have ‘Fish of the Fortnight’ instead. I have already planned it. This fortnight, it will be yellowfin tuna, next fortnight, it will be skipjack tuna and the following fortnight it will be blue-fin tuna.

Right, where’s my sofa? See you later...